2005-07-27-1632Z


Black guy in an SUV gave me a lift into Columbus, saving me another half hour of walking. It's been constant trains and buses since about 0500 Tuesday morning; Monday night I'd gotten an email from a friend in need, and though I'm often not much of a friend indeed, I think she saved me from a few wasted days in D.F., because I was going to hang around till the weekend for no particular reason. I'd already met, twice, the friend I'd gone to visit, and based on the 2nd conversation it seems pointless to hang around. I'll maybe come back when I have something more to offer.

This time I was wiser, and took the metro (2 pesos) to the bus station, and took the Omnibus de México all the way to Ciudad Juarez for MX$1256, then a Chihuahuenses bus to Crucero Palomas for MX$73, and one of those old schoolbuses into Palomas for another 25 pesos. Ate a couple of burritos there, bought some dental floss, crossed the border, and walked a mile and a half or so before I got the lift.

Sex isn't an even exchange, so it seems. It's not just penis for vagina. There's a lot more complexity of life matters that needs to be addressed before the act can be performed. Well, I'm beginning to see that. And when I see that, I want to run, run like hell, to a place where that doesn't exist. Where did John Galt hide his goddamned valley for christsakes? But then, I'm no peer of John Galt, am I? We shall see.

Anyway, if I'm going to take care of my sexual needs through promiscuity, as I've already more or less decided, I'd better stick with women my own age, who've been around the block a few times. Otherwise I can repress myself through working, as I did for years and don't really want to do again, or continue being a puñetero. Young, beautiful, successful women are apparently going to treat me more as a curiosity than as a viable sexual partner. Which is fine. In 5 years or so, they and I may grow closer together, as long as we remain in communication. Or not. I've got to live for today, goddammit. Nobody can promise me any tomorrows.

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